What do you mean?

i was totally sad yesterday.
My big sis told me to join a drawing contest. She said to me, ''Do someting useful!''
Like hell if i would be so meaningless!
For me, to get a fav on my drawing in Deviantart, it's a pleasure already. And, for them, it's all meaningless. MEANINGLESS.
They think i'm useles. Are the things i done not enough yet? What do you expect again for me?
They also mad at me to get 8th ranki. Im stupid. Useless. Lazy. They say that i dont deserve kindness. With hardness, they would make me do the right things. Those toughts, has broken my heart many times. However i recovered fastly, because it has been so often.
All i can do is cry. Do they ever think, how soft is my heart? You can broke it easily. TRY!

OK, back to the story. Yesterday, i was sitting on the chair. I was texting. They said ''Do your pic for the contest now!'' i continued typing.
''Yes, don't worry, it would be quick'' i said.
''You see everything so easy. You are so useless. why are you doing meaningless thing? You just play computer and draw those craps....'' they continued those words, that made me feel very...
But i helped to wash the dishes, wash the clothes, clean the house etc everyday! Is that all meaningless for you?? I screamed in my heart.
''You are so useless. Maybe Nisa's parents just dont let her to be friends with you right now!''
That word really smashed my heart. Nisa is my BFF. How dare she say such a thing??
''What are you saying, mother!!!'' i shouted, spontanteusly.
they continued to blame me. I screamed again. She slapped me. I sat there for a long time, thinking, with a smashed heart.
Then i couldn't help it anymore. i said, i'll prepare for sch tomorrow.

I went upstairs. I couldn't help it anymore. I prepared the books, but my tears flows. I went to the bedroom. I hugged my big teddy bear, Mocca. I cried.
Then i swaped my tears, and i go downstairs, like nothing happened. Father is coming home.

I wrote it here because, i think, there are nobody cares about me, or this blog.

Why wouldn't you just kill me, if i'm just that useless?

                                                                                                                                                                    
PIC PIC SECTION 

Well, whatever happened, i'll always keep this section...

The pic of the day is...   

                     They're just looks Yummy!
Can i have one, please?