Imagine
You're in front of the dark lord,
your weak wand in hand.
Big chance to die in ten seconds
One spell, one scream, is all it takes
to make someone twenty meters away come to your aid.
But will you risk their lives,
Not knowing if they can handle it?
Will you make them risk their lives? Suck out their life essence, for a very small chance of victory?
What if you both get killed in the act? Will you forgive yourself?



which is what I feel right now.
I want to call out so bad, to tell them that I'm scared and I don't know if I can make it.
I want to cry out and tell someone I'm so tired, and hear them say that everything will be alright... and to know that it will be.
But this burden is so heavy... I'm not sure I wan't anyone to shoulder it.
I know it, I'm making my own life so much more complicated, but what can I do?
I keep telling myself, I have to make it. Then I can bring people I love into my life without risking their happiness.

makes no sense, but...

I hope it's not too late by the time I make it.
And I can still find it.
My own happiness.